A Letter to My Hardworking Husband (from a stay-at-home mom)

Dear Hardworking Husband,

The alarm clock rings.  I barely register the sound in my subconscious.  Quietly you flip the switch and pad noiselessly into the hallway.  You sneak out under the darkness and begin your day, careful not to disturb the sleeping souls you pass on your way out.

Meanwhile, I snuggle a little deeper under the warmth of our duvet, resting my head next to a sweet baby’s cheek.  Daylight slowly creeps in.  Little feet pad into my room and crawl up in bed with me.  Tiny voices whisper sweet love songs into my ear as we snuggle and watch the rays of light dance across the bedroom floor.  I am grateful for this moment.

Out in your office, you down a few cups of coffee and hit your day head-on.  The phone rings, text messages buzz and the fax machine hums.  You, my introverted loner, plunge head first into a day full of noise and people.  Today’s equivalent of slaying dragons.  And you do it for us.

I spend the morning knee deep in mundane tasks…making the beds, cooking the breakfast, washing the dishes, doing the laundry, but unlike your day, my day is interrupted by gleeful accomplishments (the baby said “mama!”, the toddler learned to hop, the preschooler read his first word, our school age children learned a new skill), little hands pressed into mine and moments of gratitude.

You spend your day busy, staring at a computer screen, calculating numbers, running averages, estimating costs.  Or perhaps the monotony is broken up by an appointment with a client.  A meeting with co-workers.  A training session.  Even jury duty when the time comes.

It’s not all drudge for you.  You have the luxury to make it through a task without getting sidetracked.  You can make a phone call without an interruption.  You can listen to music while you work.  You can concentrate.  If you need to run an errand, you can do it without buckling anyone in or keeping anyone’s hands off of everything in the store.  You can set your own schedule, change your mind on a whim, potty without an audience.

I spend my day chasing children, cleaning up messes only to discover new ones in my wake, educating (sometimes ungrateful) bright minds, juggling four little souls with all of their idiosyncrasies.  I cook, I clean, I wash, I educate, I discipline, I love.

But if I had to choose?  Between your world and mine?

I’d choose mine.  Time and time again.  Hands down.  No hesitation.

I am grateful that I am able to stay home and witness the growth and change in these little people we created.  I am grateful that I get to experience the power of innocence and the wonder of childhood.  I am grateful that I get to fill hungry little bellies with good, home-cooked food.  I am grateful that I can stop in the middle of a moment, grab four eager little listeners and snuggle up on the couch for a good story.  I am grateful that my kids know the security and familiarity of a steady home.  That they get to continue growing and thriving alongside me, the same me that nurtured them inside my womb and brought them into this world.  I am grateful that I am the one that gets to wipe fevered brows and rub upset tummies.  I am grateful that it’s me they run to for comfort, it’s me they ask for advice, it’s me they write love letters to.

I realize that for all my gratitude, my life is nothing without you.  Without a foundation, a home has no ground on which to grow.  You make my lifestyle possible and it is because of your hard work and sacrifices that I get to stay home and count my blessings.

So thank you.  Thank you for getting up early.  For thriving in a world that tests your limits.  For responding with earnestness to the genetic call to care for and provide for your family.  For slaying dragons on our behalf.  Our kids don’t realize how incredibly lucky they are.  But I do.

I love you,

Your Stay at Home Wife

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3 thoughts on “A Letter to My Hardworking Husband (from a stay-at-home mom)

  1. That is beautiful and some day I may come back and add my own note. In fact I know I will. Thank you Stacie for sharing your thoughts and dreams with us. Love, Mom

  2. I am back. I have always been so very lucky to have the husband that I have. Early in our marriage we both worked and played. Then it was time for a family. There were hard times but the good always outweigh the bad. One of the best things was that I could be a stay at home mom just like my mom before me. With Gary being in the Navy it was even more important to me to be with our daughters because Dad would miss so much of their lives. We all understood his leaving and were very proud of our Navy man but there are times that it is hard too. Having one parent with them all day just seemed to be the most important thing.
    I had the privilege of seeing and hearing all of their “firsts” I could watch them grow daily and I could instill the good habits and help to teach them and show them how to be productive, independent, polite, sociable, fun loving, spiritual daughters. No matter how hard it was being the ‘single’ parent with them all the time, it was so worth it and I always thanked (maybe not out loud) my husband for allowing me to be a stay at home mom.
    There came a time when Leslie was a senior in high school and it was close to graduation, (Dad was out to sea again), a friend asked her if she was sad her dad wasn’t there and her answer was, “yes, I am sad but it is ok because I know that the reason he isn’t here is that he is out there protecting all of American so that we can be free..” I knew in that moment that I had done OK raising the girls without them resenting the Navy. They embraced it just as Gary and I did. He missed 97 % of Leslie’s growing up years but he was there for most of Stacie;s. It just worked out that way. I am very proud of both of our daughters and the families that they are raising.
    I am so glad to see that we, Belcher girls have all carried on a tradition of sorts in that we have been stay at home mom’s just like the generations before us. I can remember the pressure when I was in that roll. When asked what work you did it was frowned on to say I stay at home but I embraced it and at times gave it different names such as: domestic engineer, home decorator and others. But I was never ashamed to be that “stay at home mom”. IT was the best job in the world.
    Once again I thank my husband Gary for allowing me to do this for our daughters.
    I could go on but I will stop now.
    Thank you Stacie for reminding of these times. I love you all.
    Mom

    • Thank you for such a heartfelt response! I am very thankful for Dad always being a hardworking husband so that you, Mom, could stay home with us. I was blessed indeed!

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